The PenOpticon

If you are a regular reader of The PenOpticon, you already know this blog is well on its way to becoming one of the most widely read and highly respected blogs on the net. Don’t be fooled by the lack of comments and trackbacks — the kinds of readers who frequent this site are too prominently placed in society — we’re talking, senators, judges, prime ministers and at least one respected ornithologist. These people can’t post comments with real names and emails and even posting anonymously would give ‘em away. And yet, in spite of the long-winded diatribes, the lengthy delays between posts and the lack of a clear and obvious focus, these readers return to the PenOpticon day after day after day. Now, I can’t prove these readers exist — or that you do for that matter — but if we can agree, for the moment at least, that you do exist, that still leaves one burning question: how did I get you here? That one is easy. First I studied the following 90 amazing tips for successful blogging. Then with rigourous discipline and care, I ignored each and every one of them. And that leaves only the 91st tip, which comes to you filtered through the blogosphere via Descartes and Offred:

I hope you enjoy the previous 90 tips:

• 13 Steps to Successful Blogging
  The 13-step program is by Yaro Starak, an EzineArticles.com “Expert Author”.
• 7 Tips for Successful Blogging by Michele Schermerhorn
  These tips come from Michele Schermerhorn, a self-described “Corporate Freedom Fighter” who wants to liberate cubicle prisoners so they can experience their own successful online business.
• Top 10 Tips for Blogging
  This Top 10 list comes from Sharon Housley, a marketing manager with FeedForAll.
• 40 Tips from Dehumanizer.Com
  This huge list of tips comes from Pedro Timóteo, a 31-year old network/systems administrator from Portugal.
• 10 Tips for Attracting More Comments
  These come from Chris Garrett, a UK-based former marketing consultant who now works for Performancing.Com
• Blogging For Beginners And 10 Blog Traffic Tips
  Yaro Starak “literally put together a 1500 word collection of blog traffic tips in an hour demonstrating that my brain is really full of Blog Traffic content ready to be poured out”.