The PenOpticon

CNN is reporting that a "mystery odor" is permeating Manhattan, though they claim it is not dangerous. Let’s hope that is the case. Meanwhile a 10-block stretch of Austin was closed this morning when dozens of dead birds were found on city streets. The problem in Austin could have been caused by migratory birds bashing into tall buildings (that are lit up).  This is a well-known and tragic problem for migrating birds. On the other hand, these episodes are reminiscent of the "airborne  toxic event" that occurs in Don DeLillo’s novel, White Noise.  Let’s hope these events are unrelated and benign.  Meanwhile, it’s Jan 8th and there is still no snow where I live.  Strange planet, this one.

Austin update: "As many as 60 dead pigeons, sparrows and grackles were found overnight along Congress Avenue, a main route through downtown. No human injuries or illnesses were reported." says CNN. Whatever it is, it’s not because of migrating bird collisions with skyscrapers.

Manhatten update: The coverage of this event is baffling. Consolidated Ed said there has been no drop in gas pressure, though the odour has reached New Jersey. Mayor Bloomburg has stated: "these things are normal, happen all the time."  Not surprisingly, the NY Times coverage is better:  "Mysterious odors come and go in the New York City area, sometimes never identified." 

Nothing revealed here except my own Monday morning paranoia.

Despite what the folks at the Pembina Institute think, today’s Globe has a different view on all of the weird and wonderful things the oil moguls in the west are doing to lessen environmental damage caused by oils sands extraction and production.  David Ebner’s The Greening of the Oil Sands, reads more like a list of excuses and threats from the oil industry.  Essentially we are told not to threaten the Canadian oil industry with environmental regulation and other "rash decisions" or we stand to lose 20% of Canada’s gasoline capacity. As Marcel Coutu, CEO of SynCrude told the Globe: “That’s a big, big number. I don’t think the country wants us to stop being a leading oil producer.”  Well, maybe we do. Maybe some of us want to see Canada’s gasoline requirements drop by 33% or more.

But not these guys. They want us to keep the exploration subsidies flowing and consider "innovations" such as the use of underground nuclear reactors so that the oil sands can be processed in situ. Or how about EnCana Corp’s plan to reduce the amount of fresh water steam required to bubble up the bitumen by mixing  solvents such as butane and propane into the steam.  Oh, and Shell wants to pipe CO₂ emissions to Edmonton where they will be pumped into older wells to be "permanently" stored.

Doesn’t it just all sound so, so "sustainable"? 

He’s packed his trunks. He’s branching out. He’s taking a bough. Can you twig it? Jesus is appearing in trees around the world and bringing comfort to the faithful everywhere.  At least, this is what we learn from CNN’s recent video expose: Jesus in a tree? Neighbors say Lord, yes.  I hope the good Lord will forgive me for wondering why this was not presented as "OffBeat News", a section which currently wants us to know that:

• Robots may soon demand independence
• Typo lands tourist 8,000 miles from destination
• Snow for sale on eBay

On the other hand, Jesus doesn’t make the news on CNN as often as Britney or Paris, so I suppose when the Saviour of the World appears in the gnarled bark of a tree in Florida, we really need to know about it.  Besides, it seems Jesus really likes trees (as long as you forgive Him for that odd fig tree cursing episode). In recent years, the Lord has been seen in a silver maple in Rochester, New York. He has appeared in a big ‘ole tree in Milwaukee and also in an old growth tree in Quincy, Illinois.  Since this is a world tour, you can also find Christ in Sussex, England, grimacing from the bark of  a Burgess Hill Hawthorn tree.  It’s difficult to keep up with the Lord’s travel schedule, although the "Look! It’s Jesus" folks gave it a good try a few years back.

For the record, I have never seen Jesus in a tree and don’t expect to, but there is a wonderful place (ironically situated next to Ontario’s Pickering Nuclear Generating Station called Home Place. Home Place was created by Pickering artist, Dorsey James and features numerous tree faces and animal carvings from mythology and nature. I took these photos a few years ago when we happened upon them unexpectedly. It was a revelation!

After last night’s mean-spirited rant, here’s the bird of the week: the Long-Eared Owl. There are supposed to be four of these guys hanging around the Burlington Outdoor Recreation Centre north of Toronto, but we only saw three.  B.O.R.C. is located in kind of a wasteland of industrial dumping stations and train yards, mixed in with farms. Lot’s of midnight dumping of refrigerators and stoves into nearby gullies also. Between that and the stupid ATVs roaring around, aren’t we a charming species? Still, it’s amazing to find these beautiful creatures and the occasional Northern Shrike in such a place.

While I’ve never been on any of the official guest lists, I’ve witnessed my share of state funerals through the magic of live television: JFK, MLK, Bobby Kennedy, Trudeau, Reagan, et al.   Over the years, the "state funeral" has become a fusion of church and state. In other words, it has become a machine that manufactures images and sound bites for political gain. These solemn occasions give the living political elite a once in a lifetime chance to celebrate the deceased while sharing (basking, wallowing, snuffling, rolling around) in the unending praise and glory they heap upon their predecessors. When the corpses of the mighty are flown across the country, and wheeled about for visitation and viewing, the living can always find the right words to turn a stiff into a lucky talisman.

Whose Lying in State Now?

The death of Gerald Ford is probably a more extreme example, because Cheney, Rumsfeld and Bush senior got their first big political breaks while working for him. And so the praises pour forth:

• President Bush’s father called Mr. Ford “a Norman Rockwell painting come to life”
• Tom Brokaw, the former television anchor, described “Citizen Ford” as a “champion of Main Street values”
• Henry A. Kissinger said the man he served as secretary of state “had the virtues of small-town America.”

Now, I’m sure Ford was a nice guy. After all, he helped get Canada into the G8 club and put the wheels in motion to grant amnesty to American draft dodgers. I’m not so sure pardoning Nixon was such a good idea, but that’s just the kinda guy he was — unless there really was a deal to let Nixon off the hook in exchange for his sudden departure (and Ford’s rapid promotion).  But Gerald and Betty Ford were complicated people. They claimed to have welcomed gays into the Republican fold and to support pro-choice and gay marriage. I wonder if George W was thinking about such things when recently uttered these words:

"Gerald Ford distinguished himself as a man of integrity and selfless dedication," Bush said. "He always put the needs of his country before his own, and did what he thought was right, even when those decisions were unpopular. Only years later would Americans come to fully appreciate the foresight and wisdom of this good man."

No doubt Bush was sincere in his praise, but he may also have been grasping at Ford’s glory, hoping to rub some of that "foresight and wisdom" onto his own hind end.

That’s such a cynical, horrible thought to have so early in the new year (though not as cheerless as Pat Robertson’s recent prognostications about an unpleasant "I’m not necessarily saying it’s going to be nuclear" 2007).  Still, I think I’ve lost my faith in the sanctity of a good ‘ole state funeral.  After all, in the U.S., such events tend to occur at the "Washington National Cathedral",a  structure whose very name rings with officialdom (as if it is run by the U.S. Dept. of Religious Affairs).  While I did just make that up, I did not make up the fact that that this church features a gargoyle carved in the likeness of Darth Vader. What is that about?  An apolitical ploy to get children to come to church or a not-so-veiled reference to Ronald Reagan’s original Star Wars program?  I’m not sure what George Lucas thinks about carving Darth Vader’s head on the Washinton National Cathedral, but it ought be a crime to exploit the dead for quick political gain. Even a man as magnanimous as Gerald Ford might not be willing to pardon someone who is guilty of that crime.

On the Northern Afront

It turns out there are currently three remaining Canadian veterans of the first world war still living, all of them over 105 years old. The Canadian government recently approved a plan to hold a state funeral for the last one to survive. But it turns out that none of the three survivors want to be part of a political circus. I salute and commend Lloyd Clemett (106 years of age), John Babcock (106 years of age) and Dwight Wilson (105 years of age) for their wisdom in this matter. I do remember meeting WWI veterans at a Remembrance Day service in public school many years ago. I had no understanding of that war (and not much more to this day), but I was in awe of those old warriors who stood straight and proud on that cold November day.

Considering that Stephen Harper’s last "tribute" to Canada’s veterans looks more like a propaganda/recruitment video,  our remaining WWI veterans are right to stay clear of Harper’s media machine. They fought for freedom all those years ago, let them enjoy it.